Anyway, it must be divine providence or something, because I've really been feeling like I need to start writing again ... Either that, or go back to therapy. That's where I was right after my last post :-). Just so much going on since then, and now I need to start to get it all straight in my head. This is gonna be good
Showing posts with label Crappy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crappy. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2012
It's been awhile ....
So much crap, and so long since I've been here .... I'm gonna have to go back and read all of this to see how totally fucked up I really was over Jerk Face.
Anyway, it must be divine providence or something, because I've really been feeling like I need to start writing again ... Either that, or go back to therapy. That's where I was right after my last post :-). Just so much going on since then, and now I need to start to get it all straight in my head. This is gonna be good
Anyway, it must be divine providence or something, because I've really been feeling like I need to start writing again ... Either that, or go back to therapy. That's where I was right after my last post :-). Just so much going on since then, and now I need to start to get it all straight in my head. This is gonna be good
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Just one of those days
When it feels like the world is out to get me, and I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I miss someone so bad it hurts, and I wish I had him around to talk to, or just be here. And not just anyone - but him. And a bad day at work - must be the almost full moon. That, or the fact I forgot to take a pill last night. Who knows, but I start to think when that happens. Probably bad that the meds make life bearable, but I do what I have to, right? They make me not feel, which isn't good, but it's definitely not bad. And then as I'm outside, I see planes flying overhead, and I want to be up there so bad I can taste it - but not just with anyone. When will this get easier? I thought it would start to happen, but it hasn't.
Ok, got that out. Needed that.
Ok, got that out. Needed that.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Crappy Reason #63
Sleeping alone.
That is the ONE thing I miss the absolute most. I hate being in bed alone - no, not for THAT reason, but just because it's reassuring having someone next to you. I haven't slept well in months. It's just easiest to exhaust myself so that when I do go to bed, I fall asleep as soon as possible. I slept on the couch for a few weeks because I couldn't stand having a whole bed to myself.
Lesson Learned: While dogs are no substitute for a warm body, they certainly help, and dog hair can be vacuumed up.
That is the ONE thing I miss the absolute most. I hate being in bed alone - no, not for THAT reason, but just because it's reassuring having someone next to you. I haven't slept well in months. It's just easiest to exhaust myself so that when I do go to bed, I fall asleep as soon as possible. I slept on the couch for a few weeks because I couldn't stand having a whole bed to myself.
Lesson Learned: While dogs are no substitute for a warm body, they certainly help, and dog hair can be vacuumed up.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Crappy Reason #206
When you don't deal well with the sight of your own blood, and you cut yourself pretty bad on cheap Ikea furniture.
Sucks, especially when you get light-headed and need to keel over, but also have to manage to try to find a bandage and not drip blood all over the kitchen.
Lesson learned: Don't cut yourself.
Sucks, especially when you get light-headed and need to keel over, but also have to manage to try to find a bandage and not drip blood all over the kitchen.
Lesson learned: Don't cut yourself.
Crappy Things
Decided I want to be cynical .... Need to make light of the situation, and figured I have enough ammunition to do a "Crappy Reason #xxx about Living Alone" at least a few times a week.
Ok, I know I should balance it with a good reason for living alone, and I probably will - a pro/con list, if you will.
I've really never truly lived ALONE, because I can't count the time after Butkus and I split since I went back to a home I was totally familiar with, and had lived in for years.
This time, I was forced out (ok, because of the situation), into a house I don't want to be in. Everything I have around me is new and unfamiliar, and while it should be exciting, I can't quite get to that point. Hell, I've been here two months and haven't unpacked - I don't want to be here. And moving is expensive! Maybe it's just that I'm moving from TopGun's monster home into this teeny tiny space. Who knows .... But it's crappy :-)
Ok, I know I should balance it with a good reason for living alone, and I probably will - a pro/con list, if you will.
I've really never truly lived ALONE, because I can't count the time after Butkus and I split since I went back to a home I was totally familiar with, and had lived in for years.
This time, I was forced out (ok, because of the situation), into a house I don't want to be in. Everything I have around me is new and unfamiliar, and while it should be exciting, I can't quite get to that point. Hell, I've been here two months and haven't unpacked - I don't want to be here. And moving is expensive! Maybe it's just that I'm moving from TopGun's monster home into this teeny tiny space. Who knows .... But it's crappy :-)
