Thinking about the online dating thing, and when all I do is compare to you-know-who, it's not fair to someone new.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I wish ....
That I could figure out how to get to sleep, and sleep well. Haven't been able to since we were in the same bed, and it's been almost 6 months.
That I could figure out how to stop thinking about him all the time. I want to - really. I just can't.
That I could figure out how to start dating. I don't want to. It feels like I would be disloyal to myself, knowing how I feel. I miss having someone around, but that's not a reason to go out with someone.
My body would stop wanting him. It's annoying sometimes. How can just a thought of him make me react?
That I could figure out how to stop thinking about him all the time. I want to - really. I just can't.
That I could figure out how to start dating. I don't want to. It feels like I would be disloyal to myself, knowing how I feel. I miss having someone around, but that's not a reason to go out with someone.
My body would stop wanting him. It's annoying sometimes. How can just a thought of him make me react?
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
It was a birthday .....
I always thought 40 would be a little more of a big thing .... maybe a beach celebration in a tropical locale, or a surprise party with 100 of my closest friends thrown by someone special. The stars just weren't in alignment or something this year so I grabbed a salad from the grocery store and ate dinner with the pups in front of the fire.
In 40 years, the most important thing I've learned that you can never take anything for granted, and even when you have amazing family and friends, you have to take care of yourself first. So I spent the day off of work sleeping in a little, playing with my dogs in the yard, doing a little laundry, running errands, and spending some 'me' time. Honestly, it was a little lonely, but I think it was just what I needed right now :-) I'm sure the next 40 years will be as much, if not more, of an adventure as the first.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
In 40 years, the most important thing I've learned that you can never take anything for granted, and even when you have amazing family and friends, you have to take care of yourself first. So I spent the day off of work sleeping in a little, playing with my dogs in the yard, doing a little laundry, running errands, and spending some 'me' time. Honestly, it was a little lonely, but I think it was just what I needed right now :-) I'm sure the next 40 years will be as much, if not more, of an adventure as the first.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, December 12, 2011
The Big 4-0
Not as big as I'd secretly hoped it would be. In fact, a little lonely. That's ok though, since I'll probably be getting used to it.
I look back, and I accomplished the losing weight, the getting a job, and the feeling better about myself before I hit this day. Go me! Yay! Then there's the whole being in a meaningful relationship thing.
I struggle with that. I want to be with someone ... But I don't want to date anyone who's not him. I predict I get super-bored over the holidays and start searching on Match. That makes me scared.
I look back, and I accomplished the losing weight, the getting a job, and the feeling better about myself before I hit this day. Go me! Yay! Then there's the whole being in a meaningful relationship thing.
I struggle with that. I want to be with someone ... But I don't want to date anyone who's not him. I predict I get super-bored over the holidays and start searching on Match. That makes me scared.
